When I think back over the course of my life I can find many
depressing and dark holes, places I would never want to return to. And yet, I find great joy in those times
because of the refinement that came during and after those experiences.
It’s always easier to see the blessing when you’re looking
back but hopefully having gone through these experiences I can learn to be
better in the future. These are just a
few examples: Being overweight and self conscious about my body in elementary
school? Check. Never feeling like I was pretty enough for
any boy to notice me? Check. Feeling like the “Amazon” woman because I hit
puberty in 5 grade and all my friends were a foot shorter than me and didn’t
need to wear a bra. Check. Those were some difficult times and I feel
sorry for the little girl who went through them. But, now I see so much happiness from never
facing the challenges of dressing immodestly and feeling ready and prepared to
enter the temple and make covenants right when I needed to. I am so grateful that I was never in a
situation where I was taken advantage of or tempted to make some unwise
decisions when it came to the opposite sex.
I can tell my husband with full confidence that I kept myself
clean.
What about the times when I was so alone and felt like I had
no one to turn to? Check. The times when I would sob in my bedroom
hoping my roommates wouldn’t hear me for fear of breaking down in front of
them? Check. What about the time when I moved to Utah,
knowing the Lord told me to, but couldn’t fathom why He wanted me to leave when
my sister needed me so badly as her world turned upside down? Check.
All of these examples bring sadness to my heart because I remember with
such vividness the torment I experienced but with them came elevation. The Lord was with me each time; I have no
doubt. There couldn’t possibly be any
doubt because I know myself and I could never have made it through those
experiences and have such a positive outlook about them without the help of my
Savior.
The Savior never promised us that if we keep the
commandments and we try to do what’s right that we will never go through
trials; in fact, it was quite the opposite.
A common children’s church song is called “The Wise Man and the Foolish
Man” and how their homes were affected during a storm. The wise man had built his house on a rock so
it stood still and the foolish man had built his house on the sand and it
washed away. Elder Pino tells us, “It is
interesting to notice that the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds
blew against both houses! Living the gospel
does not mean that we will everlastingly escape adversity. Rather, it means that we will be prepared to
face and endure adversity more confidently.”
I served my mission in Kirtland,
Ohio where some of the early church history
took place. The church has even
purchased some original buildings where the Savior stood and spoke with his
prophet. How miraculous is that?! A few of the other buildings on the
historical site have been recreated on their original foundations. One of those buildings is called an Ashery
and it became one of my favorite places to visit. An ashery was a place where ashes (like from
a fire) went through levels of cleansing to become products that were more
valuable and useful. First, the ashes
were placed in a large wooden funnel with a filter at the bottom. Water would be poured from the top so that eventually
a mixture of water and lye would come out the bottom. Then the water and lye would be boiled in
large caldrons for hours where the water would evaporate and you would be left
with a dark rock substance called “pot ash”.
This could be used from many things like fertilizer and such. If you wanted to take the cleansing process a
step further you would place the pot ash in a scorching furnace where all the
impurities would be cooked away and you would be left with a beautiful white
rock called “pearl ash”. This rock could
be used for making art, glass, and even, medication. The pearl ash could be sold for more than
200% of the amount paid for the ashes and could be used for some many useful
and wonderful purposes. We are like
these ashes. We may see ourselves as
left-over fire ashes worth close to nothing but the Lord knows our
potential. If we allow Him to let us go
through experiences like being drenched, or boiled, or baked for hours upon
hours we too can become something much more valuable than we were are now or
where we started. These blistering
events can cook away our impurities and help us become beautiful and pure.
(An outside view of the Ashery)
I know that burdens are hard. I sometimes wish that trials weren’t the
perfect way to purify, cleanse, and perfect us; but they are! Alma
promises us in The Book of Mormon, “…whosoever shall put their trust in God
shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions,
and shall be lifted up at the last day.”
I know that that promise is true.
I hope that we all can remember – we have
to put our trust in Him so that He can give us the strength we need during those
dark days. Be grateful the Lord has
allowed you to go through hard things because you can become more perfect
through them.
Further gospel Study:
Elder Bednar (April 2014) "Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease"
Elder Bednar (April 2014) "Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease"
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/bear-up-their-burdens-with-ease?lang=eng
President Faust (Feb 2006) "Refined in Our Trials"
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/02/refined-in-our-trials?lang=eng
Elder Andersen (Oct 2012) "Trial of Your Faith"
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/trial-of-your-faith?lang=eng
President Faust (Feb 2006) "Refined in Our Trials"
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/02/refined-in-our-trials?lang=eng
Elder Andersen (Oct 2012) "Trial of Your Faith"
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/trial-of-your-faith?lang=eng
Alma 36: 3
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/36?lang=eng
2 Corinthians 4 (—Mortal trials are nothing as contrasted with eternal glory)
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/2-cor/4?lang=eng#
2 Corinthians 4 (—Mortal trials are nothing as contrasted with eternal glory)
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/2-cor/4?lang=eng#