Thursday, April 23, 2015

Courage


As most of you know, Ashlee went on the Dr. Phil show.  I feel like I have a lot to say about it and then nothing at all.  This much I do know and want to say: I am so proud of her.  I am proud of her courage to continue to share something that is still so raw, humiliating, and painful for her.  I am proud of her example as a person, wife, mother, and daughter of God.  I am thankful for her testimony and willingness to share it so publicly.  I am grateful to be her sister.

This is the First Presidency message from the April 2015 Ensign.  I feel like it is so fitting for what happened today that I couldn't help but get on and update my blog (which hasn't happened in months!).

President Thomas S Monson:
Scarcely an hour passes, President Thomas S. Monson has observed, but what we are called upon to make choices of one kind or another.
To make wise choices, he counseled, we need courage—“the courage to say no, the courage to say yes. Decisions do determine destiny.”1
In the following excerpts, President Monson reminds Latter-day Saints that they need courage to stand for truth and righteousness, to defend what they believe, and to confront a world that is rejecting eternal values and principles.
“The call for courage comes constantly to each of us,” he said. “It has ever been so, and so shall it ever be.” 2

Courage Brings God’s Approval

“We will all face fear, experience ridicule, and meet opposition. Let us—all of us—have the courage to defy the consensus, the courage to stand for principle. Courage, not compromise, brings the smile of God’s approval. Courage becomes a living and an attractive virtue when it is regarded not only as a willingness to die manfully but also as the determination to live decently. As we move forward, striving to live as we should, we will surely receive help from the Lord and can find comfort in His words.”3

Withstand with Courage

“What does it mean to endure? I love this definition: to withstand with courage. Courage may be necessary for you to believe; it will at times be necessary as you obey. It will most certainly be required as you endure until that day when you will leave this mortal existence.”4

Have Courage to Stand for Truth

“[May] you have the courage to stand firm for truth and righteousness. Because the trend in society today is away from the values and principles the Lord has given us, you will almost certainly be called upon to defend that which you believe. Unless the roots of your testimony are firmly planted, it will be difficult for you to withstand the ridicule of those who challenge your faith. When firmly planted, your testimony of the gospel, of the Savior, and of our Heavenly Father will influence all that you do throughout your life.”5

We Need Spiritual and Moral Courage

“The messages portrayed on television, in movies, and in other media [today] are very often in direct opposition to that which we want our children to embrace and hold dear. It is our responsibility not only to teach them to be sound in spirit and doctrine but also to help them stay that way, regardless of the outside forces they may encounter. This will require much time and effort on our part—and in order to help others, we ourselves need the spiritual and moral courage to withstand the evil we see on every side.”6

May We Ever Be Courageous

“As we go about living from day to day, it is almost inevitable that our faith will be challenged. We may at times find ourselves surrounded by others and yet standing in the minority or even standing alone concerning what is acceptable and what is not. …
“May we ever be courageous and prepared to stand for what we believe, and if we must stand alone in the process, may we do so courageously, strengthened by the knowledge that in reality we are never alone when we stand with our Father in Heaven.”7
 

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Change

"Each one of us has been given the power to change his or her life. As part of the Lord’s great plan of happiness, we have individual agency to make decisions. We can decide to do better and to be better. In some ways all of us need to change; that is, some of us need to be more kind at home, less selfish, better listeners, and more considerate in the way we treat others. Some of us have habits that need to be changed, habits that harm us and others around us. Sometimes we may need a jolt to propel us into changing." (President Faust) 

What does it mean to change?  Can people really change?  I am sure I’m not the only person who has ever asked that question.  There have been times when I believed that change wasn’t possible – that I was stuck with the life and ways that I had been given.  I excused my behaviors and the behaviors of others because “that’s just the way we are.” 

At other times there were other people telling me that I couldn’t change.  They would continually remind me of what I had done in the past and that if put in the same situations I would revert back to the same old things and stay the same person I had always been.  I couldn’t possibly become better.

Both perpetrators are wrong.  We can change; the challenge is not letting others or ourselves drag us down.  That is Satan’s plan and he is getting pretty good at convincing the world that it is the ultimate plan.  

“There is nothing so unchanging, so inevitable as change itself. The things we see, touch, and feel are always changing. Relationships between friends, husband and wife, father and son, brother and sister are all dynamic, changing relationships. There is a constant that allows us to use change for our own good, and that constant is the revealed eternal truths of our Heavenly Father.” (Elder Ashton)

As I have mentioned before in previous posts, one of my biggest fears and lies to overcome was trusting men.  I had seen too many instances where women in my life were hurt deeply by the decisions of men.  I was so guarded and unwilling to form any vulnerable or lasting relationships with any guy I met.  I never let go of control and made sure that if things were going to end they would end on my terms; that way I wouldn’t get my heart broken.  I always thought that I would be this way because nothing had shown me that I could be different.  But I did change!  It came with a lot of effort: praying, fasting, consciously letting my guard down, trusting little by little, praying again, being vulnerable even when I didn’t know the ending or have control, still praying, etc.  The joy that has come from that monumental, yet incremental, change is beyond anything I could have imagined.  



Temples are pure and sacred.  The Lord has told us that we need to be clean to enter in.  The Lord is the one who tells us if we can enter and be blessed by the covenants we make with Him there.  Think of your favorite temple.  How would you feel if every time you tried to enter the temple grounds your old friend, boyfriend, or family member was standing in the way reminding you of the mistake you had made years ago?  What if the mirrors of the temple reflected back all the bad thoughts you had ever had and held you captive forever, never allowing you to enter?  What if your white temple clothes and stains from every bad word you ever spoke and there was no way of washing them out or getting a new set?  How would you feel?  Would you even try to go back to the temple?  I wouldn’t. 

That sounds like my worst nightmare.  The temple, so beautiful and bright, would be a dark, depressing hole of despair for any of us who have sinned in this life – which, by the way, is everyone.  Temples are a symbol of Christ and His atonement.  The obstacles are everything around us that can keep us away from the beauty and purity we could find in it.  When we ourselves or others build fences around the atonement we will be miserable to find that once the fence is finished we are standing on the wrong side; unable to access the very thing we were trying to keep safe.  The atonement is infinite; it has no boundaries, no limits, and no barriers.  It can reach all.  It has the power to change all. 

Change can be one big thing or a compilation of a lot of little things.  It can take years and years or it can happen over night.  Whatever your situation the important thing to remember is that you CAN change.  And with the help of the Savior you can change for good. 

The Book of Mormon gives us many examples of individuals who decided to change and be better.  One of my favorite stories of extreme change is Alma the younger: he went from persecuting the believers of God to becoming the prophet after a big change of heart.  The Book of Mormon also gives us a formula for change found in Mosiah 5:2-3
            “…the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.
And we, ourselves, also, through the infinite goodness of God, and the manifestation of his Spirit, have great views of that which is to come…” (emphasis added). 

Don’t be fooled into thinking that you can’t change.  It is a lie and one that can be so detrimental to your eternal happiness.  You can change.  You can be healed.  You can be free.  Turn to the Savior and let Him help you change the things in your life that need to be changed.  

Elder Jeffery R Holland said,

”There is something in us, at least in too many of us, that particularly fails to forgive and forget earlier mistakes in life—either mistakes we ourselves have made or the mistakes of others. That is not good. It is not Christian. It stands in terrible opposition to the grandeur and majesty of the Atonement of Christ. To be tied to earlier mistakes—our own or other people’s—is the worst kind of wallowing in the past from which we are called to cease and desist.
Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?” Splat!
And soon enough everyone comes out of that exchange dirty and muddy and unhappy and hurt, when what God, our Father in Heaven, pleads for is cleanliness and kindness and happiness and healing.
Such dwelling on past lives, including past mistakes, is just not right! It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is in some ways worse than Lot’s wife, because at least she [was] only destroying [herself]. In these cases of marriage and family and wards and apartments and neighborhoods, we can end up destroying so many, many others.
Perhaps at this beginning of a new year there is no greater requirement for us than to do as the Lord Himself said He does: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42).
The proviso, of course, is that repentance has to be sincere, but when it is and when honest effort is being made to progress, we are guilty of the greater sin if we keep remembering and recalling and rebashing someone with their earlier mistakes—and that “someone” might be ourselves. We can be so hard on ourselves, often much more so than with others!
Now, like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies of the Book of Mormon, bury your weapons of war, and leave them buried. Forgive, and do that which is harder than to forgive: Forget. And when it comes to mind again, forget it again.
You can remember just enough to avoid repeating the mistake, but then put the rest of it all on the dung heap Paul spoke of to those Philippians. Dismiss the destructive and keep dismissing it until the beauty of the Atonement of Christ has revealed to you your bright future and the bright future of your family and your friends and your neighbors. God doesn’t care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go. That is the thing Lot’s wife didn’t get…”

Additional Study
Elder Holland; Remember Lot’s Wife; 2009 BYU devotional http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=1819&tid=7#.VKTkvSiCWWw.mailto


Elder Ashton; Process through Change; Conference 1979: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1979/10/progress-through-change?lang=eng 

President Faust; The Power to Change; November Ensign 2007: https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/11/the-power-to-change?lang=eng