The Moments We Kneel : October 2014

You know you lack patience when your mom tells you, “I’m so glad you’re going on a mission because then maybe you’ll learn to be patient.” Those might have not been her exact words but they are pretty close. Ha! I’ll admit that my mission did give me many opportunities to learn and exercise patience and I feel like I’ve come much closer to becoming more like Christ because of those experiences but, unfortunately, I am far from the patient person that I know He wants me to be. And for that reason, I have been studying the topic of patience.

There have been things in the past few months that have given me reasons to pray for patience; this is a hard pill to swallow. When you pray for patience you get MANY times throughout the day to exercise it. There are moments I have become very discouraged but as I get down on my knees and ask for more patience (and help!) I am never disappointed. He is always there to assist and guide me. One way God answered my prayers was to remind me of the challenges Christ and His prophets have endured. Elder Hales said, “I have often pondered, Why is it that the Son of God and His holy prophets and all the faithful Saints have trials and tribulations, even when they are trying to do Heavenly Father’s will? Why is it so hard, especially for them?... As we ask these questions, we realize that the purpose of our life on earth is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences. How do we do this? The scriptures give us an answer in one simple phrase: we “wait upon the Lord.” Tests and trials are given to all of us. These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His Son. He already knows, and we have the opportunity to learn, that no matter how difficult our circumstances, “all these things shall [be for our] experience, and … [our] good.”

James 5:11 “Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very *pitiful, and of tender mercy.” (*compassionate)

Preach My Gospel tell us that “Patience is the capacity to endure delay, trouble, opposition, or suffering without becoming angry, frustrated, or anxious. It is the ability to do God’s will and accept His timing. When you are patient, you hold up under pressure and are able to face adversity calmly and hopefully. Patience is related to hope and faith—you must wait for the Lord’s promised blessings to be fulfilled.

You need patience in your everyday experiences and relationships, especially with your companion. You must be patient with all people, yourself included, as you work to overcome faults and weaknesses.”

“Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we often expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required.” -President Monson

Things come into our lives that may give us reasons to become impatient or doubtful of others or ourselves but I promise you that the Lord is mindful of you and your daily challenges. Patience is closely related to faith so when we are exercising patience we are showing our faith in Jesus Christ.

My daily challenge this week: being patience with myself. I get caught up in thinking “I’m too fat, ugly, rolly polly, bad teeth, acne faced, lopsided, unsuccessful, weak, unfortunate, and just weird! I don’t know why I have friends or a husband you can stand to be around me. I never get anything I want. Poor me. Poor me. Poor me.” This type of thinking is pathetic. Even typing it is embarrassing. But, it is really how I feel sometimes as brief as those times may be.

The Lord does not want us drowning in this pool of martyrdom. We are not victims. He has given us so many tools to help us through our challenges. I have found great strength in the scriptures, through prayer, going to church and participating in the lessons, listening to uplifting music, and creating a living environment where His Spirit can dwell.

As I was wallowing in my self pity a tender mercy came through my cell phone speakers as I was listening to Pandora. Colbie Caillat’s song “Try” started to play and the words touched me. In that moment, I needed to be reminded of the great gift of life! I have a beautiful, healthy body that allows me to love, be a wife and mother, learn, grow, teach, and play. I love myself; why shouldn’t I? You should love yourself, too! What’s not to love? If God loves you then there is something to love in yourself. The trick is to find it. Be patient with yourself as you seek to find your worth.